Against Stupidity
The Gods Themselves
Contend in Vain.

Friedrich von Schiller (1759–1805)
 The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.

Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End.

“Closing Time”, Semi-Sonic

Due to Technical Difficulties, Tomorrow Has Been Postponed Indefinitely

Anonymous

Neatness – Sure Sign of a Sick Mind

Anonymous

The man out to end us
Had a hurricane business.
He raised them from babies
All by himself.

Tom Petty

Sometimes a little brain damage can help.

George Carlin

Don’t Rush Me, I’m Waiting for the Last Minute.

Anonymous

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Shakespeare
Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 5

We Have Nothing to Fear but Monsters

Chuckie Finster, Rugrat

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Cry.

Chuckie Finster, Rugrat

Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it a bit.

Westley, The Dread Pirate Roberts
”The Princess Bride”

Don’t rush me sonny.
You Rush a Miracle Man, You Get Rotten Miracles.

Miracle Max
”The Princess Bride”

Bye Bye! Have Fun Storming the Castle!

Miracle Max
”The Princess Bride”

No Progress is Made by Doing Nothing

Chris Alberth

When in Doubt, Wait

Old Quaker Saying

When in Danger or in Doubt
Run in Circles, Scream and Shout

Anonymous

Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice
Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

Sidney Freedman
4077 MASH

Insanity is just a state of mind.

Teddy the Wonder Lizard
via Hawkeye Pierce, 4077 MASH

Insanity is no worse than the common cold.

Hawkeye Pierce

Fix it on the way

William Safire

Never assume that the obvious is true.

William Safire

When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s hard to remember that the objective was to drain the swamp

Anonymous

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris Bueler

This is what we have left behind and this is what it does -- but don't do it or it will remove your face.

Safety warning on an alien artifact

Don’t sit naked on a barbed wire fence.

Kevin Parker

Don’t pet a burning dog.

Kevin Parker

Not everything worth doing is worth doing well.

Tom West

My hovercraft is full of eels!

Windows Error Message

Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

Anonymous

At the tone, the time will be….Later than you think.

Heard by Ziggy

Due to the current economic situation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.

Anonymous

Be careful, the light at the end of the tunnel could be a train.

Anonymous

Parts is Parts!

Anonymous

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing.  It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Lazarus Long

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

Lily Tomlin

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.

Jennifer Unlimited

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Jennifer Unlimited

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.

Catherine Aird

Reality is for people with no imagination.

Anonymous

If you want to keep your feet on the ground you’ve got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

Frank Burns

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend.  Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

You’re a little scary sometimes, do you know that?  Brilliant, but scary.

Ron Weasley to Hermione Granger

She needs to sort out her priorities.

Ron Weasley, about Hermione Granger

This is becoming embarrassing.
Oh no sir, it’s been embarrassing for quite some time now.

Rannulph Junuh and Bagger Vance

I’m all right, I just need to die for a moment.

Rupert Giles
in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go home and have a heart attack.

Vincent Vega in “Pulp Fiction”

No matter where you go, there you are.

Buckaroo Banzai

When in doubt, trust your nose.

Gandalf the Gray

Nobody tosses a dwarf!

Gimli, son of Gloin

4 out of 5 cannibals agree, vegetarians are best.

Anonymous

Don’t crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.

Firesign Theatre

I think we’re all Bozos on this bus.

Firesign Theatre

It is better to ask forgiveness than permission.

Anonymous

What the boss doesn’t know can’t hurt me.

Anonymous

Could be worse . . . . Could be raining

Igor  in “Young Frankenstein”
(that’s “eye-gore”)                                  
 (that’s “fronk-en-steen”)

If you want to give God a laugh, tell Him your plans.

Mike Scott
(singer, former Waterboy)

Somebody exploded an H-bomb today, but it wasn’t anybody I know.

Ray Thomas
”Dear Diary” by The Moody Blues

Surprises, Commander.  I believe in embracing surprises.

Dr. Flox in “Enterprise”

I don’t think, I’m just a yes man.

Phil, of IBM

Thank you for playing “Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galacticly stupid?”

Lt. J.g. John Caffey
”A Few Good Men”

Procrastinate Now!  Don’t put it off!

Ellen DeGeneris

Procrastination is not the problem, it is the solution.

Ellen DeGeneris

Not one shred of evidence supports the theory that there is intelligent life on earth.

Anonymous

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

Anonymous

If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.

U.S. Government Philosophy

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket??

Seen on a bumper sticker

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Seen on a bumper sticker